Gave Jerry the News!

I have been waiting to get the shirt as a way of telling Jerry about LO #2. He actually had to fly out to Arizona on business, leaving around 2:30 & I really wanted to tell him before he went. I called my brother this morning to ask him to find out what time Ken, our mailman will be on our street & told him I was waiting for a package to surprise Jerry. So he actually took the packages with him on his route & told me to pcik them up.

We spent the morning out at breakfast & then the park. On the way back we stopped at Peter's route. Jerry just thought I wanted to show him a cute outfit I bought Sienna. So we get home, he's cutting the grass & I get Sienna dressed in her new shirt. He came in, took a shower & then came to the living room & was playing with Sienna. All the while I am sitting there watching his facial expression. He read the front of her shirt but was making no attempt to read the back. I told him to read the back. He did...and nothing. I said "did you read it?" & he read it again. I said are you understanding what it says & he says "that she's going to be a big sister" but he really wasn't getting it yet. But he was just looking at me curiously. I said I am pregnant. He said he didn't want to make assumptions. Then he was hugging me & all happy. I just couldn't believe he didn't get it right away. He said he thought maybe I just got her a shirt way ahead of time. Pretty funny. So he found out an hour before he had to leave for a flight.

Sneakiness

So not only do I have to be sneaky from Jerry, but Ed & Cynthia are seeing the same Dr. & had IVF today, so from here on out I have to be careful not to run into them. I do not want them to know I am pregnant yet. I really want them to know if they are pregnant first. If they knew I was pregnant & for some reason it doesn't work for them, I feel like it will hurt them even more. I also don't want to jinx anything. I will pray for them every day that they get pregnant. How awesome would that be if we were pregnant at the same time. We would be 2 weeks apart. That would be crazy. But it would be fun to compare how we are feeling & our plans for the near future & to just give each other support.

Another positive!

Jerry went to work & I took off. Dropped Sienna at my mom's & off to Englewood for bloodwork.

Carol, the nurse looked at the sticks & said they are positive. She did the bloodwork & said to wait, that Dr. Miller might want to do utrasound. She did. And sure enough I have a sac. So now I go back Friday to see how levels are rising. Then I think next week I go for another ultrasound to look for the yolk.

I am so happy, yet I still have to keep my feet on the ground because it still might not happen. I can't believe that we are so ready to move on with IVF & a donor & now at the last minute I might be saved by my own body. I have been getting depressed lately wondering how long we'd have to wait.

I found the perfect way to tell Jerry. I found a shirt for Sienna saying "a little birdie told me a secret" on the front & the back "that I am going to be a big sister". I hope to get it by Saturday & just dress her in it, & watch him closely. This is going to be so great. I jipped him of that total surprise with Sienna. He actually found out before I did because the stupid nurse left a message on our machine & he heard it first. This time I can totally shock him. I am even playing it off like I have my period so he doesn't suspect anything. I can't wait for the package to arrive.

My miracle

Since my last RE appt, we have been playing the waiting game...waiting til they find a donor for us. So I haven't even been keeping track of my period. Today though for some reason I started to think I should have gotten it by now. I was out so I bought a pregnancy test kit. Got home, looked at the calendar to figure out the last period, wether I should wasye the test or not. It seems like a 31 day cycle. I will not get my hopes up. I do a test & almost immediately see a + sign. I start to cry a little, but stop myself because it's probably not right or I am not reading it right. An hour later I do another one. Another +. !!!!!!!!!!!!! So I call the RE & tell them & they said to come in tommorrow for a real test. I can't tell Jerry yet. If it's true I have to find a special way to tell him.

the next American Idol

This girl can sing! Today it's raining out. She standing in her tower & starts singing "rain rain go away come again anoder day", just like that! I know Oma sings that to her whenever it rains. She hears the words enough & then suddenly one day puts them together herself.

She also sings "ring a rosie, pocket rosie, ashes ashes all fal down"

And the 1st couple verses from rock-a-bye baby see post below.

Bedtime

I still lay down with her to sleep every night. She lays on top of me, her back to my chest. I usually tell her a story even when the lights are out. Then we talk. I kind of go over what happened during the day & ask her questions. She'll at least twice tell me "hug", that she wants to hug me & roll over & hug me.

Lately we have been praying. I am teaching her "our Father". It started with me telling her about her Opa, that he is in heaven with Jesus & she would repeat me. Then I actually started having her repeat the words of the Our Father. The other day out of the blue she says 'ow fadda who ut in heaven be di name daily bread" What!!!!!!!!!! A priest aught to see this. 20 months old & praying. When she says how excited I get she gets a cute shy sile on her face.

Then when she starts getting tired, she starts scratching her head. She used to like me to scratch it for her but now I must not do it good enough because she moves my hand & she has to do it. But she does like me to play with her nose or her ears or gums. Eventually she fals asleep & I have to manuever myself out of a laying down position with a baby in my arms to standing & slowly get her into her crib without waking her. As soon as I put her in, I drop to the floor so in case she opens her eyes she doesn't see me otherwise if she catches me she's instanly on her feet crying.

Lately I have been wondering how to break this habit. I haven't been in a rush because  am a bit selfish. I like to end the day this way, with us all cuddled & her all peaceful. Today for her nap she drove me nuts because she wasn't falling asleep so I put her in the crib & left. Oh she cried so hard I wanted so badly to go back in & hug her & cuddle her. But I didn't. She fell asleep within about 10 minutes. This evening I lay down with her for a while & she was a little restless & wanted her sippy so I told her it's in the crib, do you ant to go in the crib, she said ok. I put her in, she lay down to drink t & I left. She fell asleep within 5 minutes. OMG, I love t but I also am afraid what if it's the end of nightime cuddles. sniff.

"nice n wom"

I was changing her diaper this morning. I had my fleece on.
She touches it & says "mommy jacket?"
I say "yes, mommy is cold"
She rubs the fleece & says "nice n wom"
Of course I get all giddy & she gets all proud with lots of smiles.